Phases of Grief

 By understanding the following phases of grief, you will be able to identify and cope with the intense feelings you have that accompany a loss.

1. Shock and numbness
   You respond to what is going on around you, yet you feel as if you are watching someone else rather than experiencing grief yourself.
2. Denial
   You tell yourself that the tragedy didn't really happen and that you will wake up and discover it is all just a nightmare. Another aspect of denial is that you face loss and then, because your grief is so excruciating, you tell yourself that you are through with grieving and are ready to put it behind you.
3. Guilt
   You ask yourself what you could have done differently, or you blame yourself with phrases like, "If only . . ."
4. Anger
   Because of the suffering and loss, you direct feelings of rage and blame toward yourself, others, or God.
5. Fear
   You learn that life isn't free from suffering and loss and you dread the future and other catastrophes you may have to experience.
6. Depression and despair
   You lose your vitality in life or even your desire to live.
7. Adjustment
   You discover that you can live a fulfilling life in spite of the losses. You realize that losses and endings are part of life and that everyone is touched by them in some way.

Forms of Grief

 Experiencing the different phases and symptoms of grief is a normal response to losses in your life and is part of your journey toward recovery. The grief process cannot be hurried.

 Grief comes in waves with certain aspects repeating themselves. Your sadness may never entirely disappear, but neither should it continue to hold you captive. Through mourning, you admit that a death or loss has occurred and realize that the experience has changed you and it has become an integral part of your life and identity.

 Going through the phases of grieving and living with its accompanying symptoms are part of the grieving process. They help you learn to move forward to another phase of life with new hope and vitality.

Symptoms of Grief

 Grief often shows itself in physical and emotional manifestations. Here is a list of some of these manifestations:

• Fatigue
• Lethargy
• Rapid mood changes
• Dizziness
• Loss of appetite / inability to swallow
• Headaches
• Aching muscles
• Crying
• Feelings of emptiness and heaviness
• Loss or excessive increase of sexual desire
• Loneliness
• Loss of weight
• Shortness of breath
• Insomnia

 You may experience different symptoms at different stages of your grieving. You may recognize some of the symptoms listed above as familiar to what you are feeling. Other symptoms may never be part of your experience. Remember, you grieve as an individual and, therefore, your symptoms may be uniquely yours. Depression exhibits many of the same symptoms as grief and often goes hand in hand with grief.